yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just had sex on a roof
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
