I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize