Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
