he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
