its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
