It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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