wanna go halves on a baby?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
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grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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