Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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