i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
