bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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