idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
