Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
