I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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