We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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