New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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