Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
