2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i drank out of a bidet.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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