I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize