i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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