I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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