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I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you didnt know i had herpes?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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