you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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