So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.