lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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