Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
