So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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