Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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