my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.