This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU