Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably