Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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