STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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