You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize