as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
