Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
