remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
