Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
