OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
