her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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