your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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