What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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