Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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