; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
