If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
