I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
