We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
