a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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