and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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