i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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