C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
