i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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