just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
