Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hippo gnu deer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
