i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
