Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
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Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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