there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
