he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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