i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
