its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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