You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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