She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize