Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
