New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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