Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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