Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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